I've been having a hard time handling my emotions toward food. I've gained a couple pounds and am at a higher weight than I have been for years. Looking back and consulting my trusted sources I realize that whenever I eat out I feel like it'll be my last meal.
Before I knew what I could eat, and where, I obsessed over finding tasty meals that were in line with my special dietary needs. Would I be able to eat this again? I found myself ordering the most enticing item on the gluten-free menu and eating all of it. NowI know there are multiple restaurants that cater to my diet, and they aren't inconvenient, but still have not convinced myself that I may not find a tasty meal ever again.
This is not something I've ever thought about or dealt with. Normally I can eat healthy and know that if I want to splurge one day during the week that I can...but now I feel as if I don't have that kind of control because I'd have to find the place, find a person to join me and worry about their willingness to eat where I can...it's tiring and makes me feel like a burden.
Now that I am aware of why I've been splurging more than normal I've been able to identify these situations...which is always the first step on the path of change. I'm sick of being a couple pounds over my normal weight but also sick of this disease. There are so many days I want to pick up a Lean Cuisine and know that I'm having a low calorie meal that I can afford and enjoy at the same time...and NOT get sick.
I just wish upon myself the strength to make good decisions and understand that no meal is the end and there are more to come in the future. I have a great support system that fully understands my Celiac and will help me through the physical and mental challenges I face.
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